I am SAM

SAM has lived a very full life and had some tremendous highs and some very intense lows. SAM is a survivor, a warrior, courageous and strong. But SAM has not always been courageous and strong, SAM hasn’t always struggled to survive. SAM is a suicide attempt member. SAM can teach many that no matter how low life can get there is a way out, there is an end to the darkness. SAM has survived life and lived a full life. Was SAM always happy, no. Did life have some trials and tribulations, yes. Were there times SAM wanted to end it all and stop the pain, yes.

SAM said I can’t do this anymore, everyone hates me, i can’t do anything right, no one will care if i die, no one will miss me, they won’t even know I’m gone. Have you said these same things. SAM said them but SAM is still here. How is SAM still here?

SAM almost wasn’t here, there was a time in SAM’s life that things were so bad SAM thought there was only one way out. The darkness was so thick and deep SAM couldn’t see the light, could not see any way out.

SAM was bullied, made fun of, tormented, abused, neglected, put down, made to feel less then others, worthless. SAM took a rope, a gun, a razor blade, some pills. SAM used many different methods water, gas, fire, choking, lose of blood to end it all. Each time SAM attempted SAM was not successful. Finally SAM realized there was a reason why SAM was still here, there was some purpose to fulfill. SAM didn’t know what it was yet but knew there was something. SAM decided to get help, open up and #ASK someone. Tell them what SAM was going through and to SAM suprise people did not bully or make fun of SAM, they embraced and comforted SAM. SAM thought it would be a burden to others but no one treated SAM that way.

SAM was told today by the parents that they wish it was SAM who had committed suicide instead of thier son. They wish he was still there instead of SAM. What do you think that does to SAM. It makes SAM want to give them what they want. To end the pain and torment they put SAM through. No parent should take their grieving out on a survivor who is trying to deal with their own grieving. A child who loses a sibling to suicide has no idea how to process those emotions, how to make sense of what has happen.

Now SAM sits alone in their room crying and trying to make sense of why their parents treat them the way they do. SAM starts to write a note saying goodbye. That SAM can not take the pain anymore. SAM is about to take that last step when SAM hears a voice tell them that the pain will end but not like this. The pain will go away with time, there is an end to the torment but it’s not like this. This is not the answer, this is not the end now, this is just a small chapter in a story that is still being written and this is not the end. You control your story and this is not where it ends; this is where you take control and begin a new chapter. You are SAM and its your turn to tell your story so others will understand and relate to what you have been through.

I am SAM!

#BeThe1 #choosetostay #suicideprevention #ContinueYourStory #IamSAM #SPN

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I am founder of Ride or Die 22. Mission we have chosen to accept is to spread awareness of suicide prevention resources to those in crisis and to those seeking help for loved ones in need.