Warrior Ethos

I will always place the mission first
I will never accept defeat
I will never quit
I will never leave a fallen comrade

These are words that we are taught as Soldiers in basic training and we repeat them on a daily basis in the Soldier’s Creed.

But what do those words mean? Do we live those words in our daily lives or do we feel these words only apply to war or a deployment?

I am a Soldier 24/7, all day everyday, that means that my Soldier’s Creed is a creed to live my life by, I am a NCO and that means that I have another creed that governs my life.

But these Warrior Ethos, no matter your rank and position, are what above all else should always speak to you.

Our mission first and foremost is to look out for our brothers and sisters to our left and right. Be it in battle covering their six or scouting the danger up front. You could be transporting supplies to keep them fighting, maybe your raining artillery on a position to keep them safe or maybe your making sure that their records are correct and that their pay still gets paid so their family does not go without while their lived one is deployed.

When we are home it is looking out for them to make sure they are OK. Make sure they are not letting personal issues get them down, making sure they know you are there for them no matter what. We are the one to tell them when they are messing up, that they need to calm down or to take it easy.

We would not want anything to happen to them while we are deployed, and we do not want to lose them when we are at home.

We will not be defeated in caring for our brothers and sisters.

We will never quit looking out for our brothers and sisters, even if they get mad because we are looking out for them.

We will never leave a fallen comrade, never leave someone you know is having issues without support. When we know someone is stuggling that means we need to check-in more often, letting them know we are there for them, even if it is just to vent and let it out.

But you will not always know when someone is stuggling so make sure you know your Soldiers, know your peers and check in on your seniors as well, a lot of us think because of their position they have no problems or they have it all together. They are just like everyone else and go through tough time so just check on them too.

In the end if we apply the Warrior Ethos to our lives everyday, we can help ensure our brothers and sisters are OK and stay with us


They say you never know what is going on in someone’s life just by looking at them. Sometimes they can seem like there is nothing wrong, even if you ask them they may not tell you they are struggling with some issue. Sometimes they do not know how to tell someone, they may not even understand it themselves.

Sometimes is feels like no matter how hard you try you can never get ahead. Like there is always something pulling you back down. It can feel like you can not catch your breath, almost like your drowning. You try to scream and you can’t. You try to fight but you can’t. You want to tell the world that you are not ok but you can’t.

Why, why can’t we tell another person that we are not ok. I want to tell someone I am not ok but I do not know who will listen. I feel like I am alone on an island and no matter how loud I scream no one would hear me anyway.

What I tell others everyday, ask for help, talk to someone, there is always someone to talk to, these things are hard to actually act on myself.

See it is very easy to tell someone to open up, tell them there is someone out there to listen but it is a very different thing for someone to act and actually believe that someone will listen without judgement.

I am working on this everyday and will continue to share my story with you and hope that you will benefit from my experience.

State of the Ride

Ride or Die 22 is one year old today. It has been an interesting year to say the least. I started this project with really no sense of direction and over the year things slowly started to take shape.

Our main focus for this last year has really been spent shaping our social media presences. Facebook was our first and main focus achieving almost 2,000 followers. Next we started working on Twitter and Instagram. While we have been successfully building our social media platforms there is more work to be done.

Some of the other components I have played with this year is the start of the official website, designs for clothing and retail products. I wrote a short book and placed it for sale on Amazon.

Moving forward Ride or Die 22 will look to increase its social media presence by targeting a goal of 5,000 members on Facebook and 2,000 followers on both Twitter and Instagram.

I am creating a YouTube channel to begin creating inspirational and motivational original videos. I am also beginning to work on my own original show called The Ride more information will follow on that in the coming months.

My website will continue to evolve as we find more and more local resources to partner with and create exposure for.

I will be looking to create more designs for the retail portion. My retail store front is how revenue is generated for all of this to be maintained but it will be essential to the growth of the mission.

I had no idea what this project was going to become when I started but the opportunity that I have had since starting this have been great. The theme for this next year will be #shareyoustory and we will continue to build on #IamSAM and #ContinueYourStory.

The end result of this next year is to host an event for the 2nd anniversary next year.

I am SAM 2

SAM sits on the edge of their bed in the darkness reflecting on the awful things that happen today. Tears flow like a waterfall from their eyes. SAM can not see any reason for hope through the darkness and tears.

SAM does not understand why everyone else can not just accept that they are different from others. They do not know why they are different and they do not know how to change who they are. SAM has fallen into a deep darkness and they do not understand what is happening.

SAM should be care free and happy, outside playing and having a good time. But SAM is not, they are sitting in the darkness hurt by the words and action of others. SAM starts to think that life is not worth living anymore, no one will miss them, everyone would be better of if they are not there.

SAM’s best friend comes over to check on them and find them crying in the darkness. They ask SAM what is wrong and SAM spills everything to their best friend. Their best friend reaches out and wraps SAM in the biggest hug ever. Their friend says I can not change those people and they are dumb for not seeing you the way I do. You are an amazing person and regardless of any problems in your life you are still standing. Who cars what other people say or think. They do not know what you deal with on a daily basis and how strong you are just to wake up every morning.

You are a special person, you care about others, you go out of your way to do things for others. They see you as awkward and shy but they do not know that you have social anxiety and its hard for you to open up socially. They do not see the incredible strength you have just to walk out the front door everyday. They see you as too small or too big, but they do not see the battle you have everyday with a eating disorder or the tremendous amount of stress that keeps you from eating or causes you to continuously eat.

They do not see how hard it is for SAM to reach out for help and confide in someone about what they are going through. They do not think anyone will understand how they are feeling, that others will judge them even more for how they feel. They think that others will make fun of them even more then they do now. They think that others will just brush them off and think that their issues are not important or they are just trying to get attention. SAM has a reason to feel like this, in today’s society we look at those struggling with mental illness as people to avoid or they are just crying for attention. We look at them as less of a person because they struggle with day to day activities and interactions. We say things like just get up and do something or just get over it, or just put it behind you and move on.

In order for SAM to change how they think, we have to change how society thinks about mental health. Do we look at someone seeking help and say great I am glad they are getting help or do we say they are crazy or unstable and thus try to stay away from them?

If we show SAM that it is ok to open the conversation about what they are struggling with then they will at the very least know that someone will listen to them and at best they feel comfortable that they can seek help without being labeled by society as a nutcase.

I am SAM

SAM has lived a very full life and had some tremendous highs and some very intense lows. SAM is a survivor, a warrior, courageous and strong. But SAM has not always been courageous and strong, SAM hasn’t always struggled to survive. SAM is a suicide attempt member. SAM can teach many that no matter how low life can get there is a way out, there is an end to the darkness. SAM has survived life and lived a full life. Was SAM always happy, no. Did life have some trials and tribulations, yes. Were there times SAM wanted to end it all and stop the pain, yes.

SAM said I can’t do this anymore, everyone hates me, i can’t do anything right, no one will care if i die, no one will miss me, they won’t even know I’m gone. Have you said these same things. SAM said them but SAM is still here. How is SAM still here?

SAM almost wasn’t here, there was a time in SAM’s life that things were so bad SAM thought there was only one way out. The darkness was so thick and deep SAM couldn’t see the light, could not see any way out.

SAM was bullied, made fun of, tormented, abused, neglected, put down, made to feel less then others, worthless. SAM took a rope, a gun, a razor blade, some pills. SAM used many different methods water, gas, fire, choking, lose of blood to end it all. Each time SAM attempted SAM was not successful. Finally SAM realized there was a reason why SAM was still here, there was some purpose to fulfill. SAM didn’t know what it was yet but knew there was something. SAM decided to get help, open up and #ASK someone. Tell them what SAM was going through and to SAM suprise people did not bully or make fun of SAM, they embraced and comforted SAM. SAM thought it would be a burden to others but no one treated SAM that way.

SAM was told today by the parents that they wish it was SAM who had committed suicide instead of thier son. They wish he was still there instead of SAM. What do you think that does to SAM. It makes SAM want to give them what they want. To end the pain and torment they put SAM through. No parent should take their grieving out on a survivor who is trying to deal with their own grieving. A child who loses a sibling to suicide has no idea how to process those emotions, how to make sense of what has happen.

Now SAM sits alone in their room crying and trying to make sense of why their parents treat them the way they do. SAM starts to write a note saying goodbye. That SAM can not take the pain anymore. SAM is about to take that last step when SAM hears a voice tell them that the pain will end but not like this. The pain will go away with time, there is an end to the torment but it’s not like this. This is not the answer, this is not the end now, this is just a small chapter in a story that is still being written and this is not the end. You control your story and this is not where it ends; this is where you take control and begin a new chapter. You are SAM and its your turn to tell your story so others will understand and relate to what you have been through.

I am SAM!

#BeThe1 #choosetostay #suicideprevention #ContinueYourStory #IamSAM #SPN


They say you can always go home
What if you do not feel you can go home
To some home is where they grew up
To some home is where their parents are
To some home is one place
To some home is wherever they lay their head down
To some home is no where
What if where you think home is you do not feel you can go back to
What if home is filled with pain
What if home is filled with hate
What if home does not feel like home anymore
What if home if filled with memories you do not want to remember
What becomes of home now
Where is home now
What if I build a new home
What if I create new memories
What if I choose to make my home where I am
What if I choose to never look back at my old home
What if I choose to move forward
What if I choose not care what others think
What if I choose to focus on me
What if I choose to continue my story
What if I choose to be at home right here, right now

Do You Know

Do you know how to make that special someone smile?

Do you know what to say to make their day brighter?

Do you know how much they mean to you?

Do you know that you are the luckiest person in the world?

Do you know just how much they love you?

Do you know how to appreciate that love?

Do you know that you make my world a better place because you are here?

Do you know that you make me smile just with a touch of your hand?

Do you know that your smile warms my heart and lights up my life?

Do you know that my life is incomplete without you?

Do you know I carry the thought of you with me everyday?

Do you know I carry you next to my heart always?

Do you know that you are the most beautiful woman on this planet?

Do you know that there is nothing in this world that could ever make me stop loving you?

Do you know that one day we will be together again?

Do you know I will get to look into your eyes and tell you how much I love you?

Do you know that you love makes me feel so proud and happy?

Do you know that my love for you is unconditional and forever?

Do you know that I am sorry for everything that I have done wrong that hurt you?

Do you know that you are special in every sense of the word?

Do you know that I hope one day you will know just how much I truly do love you?

Do you know that there is not a single thing in this life that I would not do for you? ��

What if?

What if you were someone else?
What if you were born somewhere else? to someone else?
What if you could go back and change something in your life?
What if they cared more about you?
What if they would have taken more of an interest in your life?
What if you never met her?
What if you didn’t ask her out?
What if she said no?
What if she said yes?
What is they were not born?
Would your life be the same?
Would be the same person you have become?
What if you could change one thing in your life would you do it?
What if you fall in love?
What if that love walked out the door?
What if stays forever?
What if you could see the future?
Would you like what you see?
Would you change the way you live your life?
What if?
Life is what you make it and too short to worry about “what if”. Remember what has happen that has made you who you are.

Your Story Does Not End

Everyone has a story, someone built a fortune on their own, someone survived a natural disaster, someone served their country, someone could not go on anymore. Whatever your story is it does not end if you leave this world.

That someone who built a fortune on their own leaves behind a legacy for others to see and follow if they choose to. Someone who survived a natural disaster leaves behind a story of how they survived. Those that serve their country can have a vast array of stories of family, brotherhood and survival. Even that someone who just can not go on any more has a story for others to hear.

What does your story say about you? What legacy are you leaving on this world?

When I was a teenager I thought my story was going to be a small flyer because I thought I would not live past 18. Then I thought my story would be the size of a children book because I thought 20 was my limit. Today I am 42 years old and through all the tragedies, bad decisions, the drugs and alcohol abuse I am still standing here.

I may not make the correct or best decision all the time still, but I have a lovely woman by my side that helps me and keeps me on the right track. I have a job that I worked hard to attain. My children have grown into beautiful adults and survived their childhoods. I have three beautiful, amazing granddaughters, who I know will grow to be incredible women.

There are so many people out there that have lived to see their life unfold as I have. Either by a failed suicide attempt or never acting on the thought they have seen their children born, grow up and start families of their own. They have lived to look back and say man that was rough but life did get better. They have live to have their story be their legacy for others to see and learn from.

What will your legacy be? Will it be that you gave up and quit? Will it be that you asked for help, you survived, that you lived to pass your story to others so they can see live will get better. Will you try? Will you choose to stay? Will your story continue?

If you would like to share your story with us send us an e-mail at tellyourstory@rideordie22.com.

The Mission

Are you ready to join our mission?

You are probably asking how do i join in the mission. Well it is really simple, help us spread awareness of suicide prevention resources. Share our website with everyone you can. Visit and like or follow our social media pages and most importantly always check on your loved ones to make sure they are doing ok.

Ask loved ones how they are doing, if they are going through a rough time be there for them, eduacte yourself on different resources available to help them (see our resource page). Share our social media posts, retweet our twitter posts.

Our mission is to NOT loose another loved one to suicide. By opening the conversation we can make it acceptable to let someone know you are not ok.

So are you ready to join us? Like us on Facebook to connect with us.

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton